Shake it like a Sovjet

It took me my deepest décolleté and I had to punch some bitches in the weak spots, like, real hard in that mud wrestling contest, but it was worth it.
I’ve never been happier then when those darling Raveslave kids sent me across the Iron Curtain to report about my Eastern Bloc Parties. I promised them to be the high-heeled, drinking and swearing version of Tintin in the Land of the Soviets. Quoi qu’il en soit, I decided to Czeck out what ex-bolshevist, Lada-driving and vodka-lurking communists party like. And for that sort of private investigations, there’s no better place than Roxy Klub, in Prague, Czech Republic.

Should you pussycats ever end up in Roxy Klub, there’s three things you’ve got to keep in mind. One: if you dress stylish, the KGB will arrest you and send you to the Gulag. It’s fricking cold over there, so kids: don’t do style. Two: “Kanaplja” is actually Russian, but those sweetheart Czech kids understand it perfectly well. And three: Bohemian-style absinth is infamous for a reason.

Deciding to go partyhardy in Praha is one thing, getting there is um- another. I had the incredibly bad idea to trust my brother on the ‘men have better orientation skills’-thing. Lost in the small Prague streets, I cursed my belief that men are as good at finding the way as they are at finding the closing of your bra. I mean, if you see the speed and efficiency that they usually go straight for their objective with… But that’s my next blog.

So after, like, 7 hours of roaming, we finally arrived at Roxy Klub. The club wasn’t the tightest I’ve ever seen, but I guess, trendy in a Marxist-kind of way. The place looks like an old warehouse or something, lots of concrete and dirt, and holes in the fricking floor. Holes, by Jove!, and I was wearing high heels. Ah well, at least I could, little hypocrite that I am, use the holes as an excuse for my stumbling and staggering, rather than the absinth.

Something completely inexcusable, on the other hand, is the way people dress over there. You know that kind of cheap shapeless t-shirts you win at a lottery for some charity thing for blind disabled Chinese orphans with aids? Helluww- they’re meant to wash your car with, not to be WORN! And for the whores- sorry, I mean: the girls- the battle cry apparently was: “put a stamp on your ass and call it a skirt”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a total fan of the ‘show some leg’-concept. But. Those Czech chicks. Have. FUCKINGUE. Cellulite. All over their fat communist upper legs, for reals! Pathetic.

They were playing some sort of techno, nuff pounding, but still a little boring. It sounded actually much like a bread machine. (I know this because my dad thinks it’s oldskool to bake whole grain bread on Sundays. He’s such a darling man in his midlife.) The music was an unrecognizable stream of beats to me, and the line-up, consisting of Yanota, Steen vs Keeper and some other dudes didn’t really ring a bell either. If all of you smart kids now jump up in indignation, hurling: ‘who ever asked this ignoramus to join our beloved Raveslave!’, well I guess it’s actually Niels you should blame. I won the all-you-can-booze, not the say-something-clever-‘bout-the-music, remember?

Anyway, I didn’t know the dj’s, and that, together with quite a lot of cheap absinthe, left me looking like a confused little capitalist lost in the USSR. But Czech boys are extremely lovable (I called them all Kafka, for reasons of simplicity), the place was spanking and not a single kitten in the club that wasn’t shaking his Czech ass off. It was mad, an unceasing daze of sweaty bodies swayed to the music, flashing lights reflected on bare skin and the beats that control your body. A true MOAB of a party.

An exiting moment, considering my dj-slut reputation, was when this douchebag was dancing just a petit peu too close to me, and some other ugly dude yelled in my ear: ‘That’s Stifler, he’s a dj here!’. The Stifler-guy was as handsome as an abortion, but the fake blondes nearby almost burned their cellulite with jealousy and Dj Douchebag bought me pink cocktails, so I put on my most arrogant face and enjoyed my newly obtained groupie status.

Up till the point where the Stifler-thing got too conceited, placing his sweaty hands on my derrière and demanding ‘a naaaiizz lietell kiesss’. There it was, Friggin Czech Groupie Walhalla, and I was right there. But Stiffie stank from cheap beer, and I was still not wankered enough to fall for ugly boys. So I smiled and said: ‘Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold.’ And carefully avoiding eine Hüre who had just puked on her own pumps, I hauled my brother away from his Matroesjkas, and started stumbling my way to the exit. On high heels. With those fricking holes in the floor. But elegance is refusal, as Coco used to say.

Lazerface

Just a quickie to spread the word about a track we recently found out about. Do you like those kind of tracks that have a smooth build-up, a touching melody, gentle tweaks and seem to last forever? The following track has none of those characteristics. So what makes it special then?


Face The Lazer is one of those tracks that'll create dancefloor madness and bleeding eardrums. The track evokes memories of Surkin's awe-inspiring White Knight Two but is less subtle and even more suited for burning down the house.

You can download it here

You can check Lazerface's MySpace here

Polka techno

Recently we organised an all-you-can-booze contest, a mud wrestling competition and an IQ test (in that specific order) to find the perfect female blogger to add to the Raveslave team. The winner in all categories was Annelore. Since her exams are over, we found it was high time for her first post. We gave her 10 000 euros from the gazillion Raveslave budget and sent her over to the former Soviet Union. Her goal is to investigate and report about the club life after the Bolsheviks. Are the rumours true that they dance the polka to techno in Warsaw? We’ll soon find out.

Some fresh new Goodies

Manmade Science - Akiele EP

Manmade Science keert terug naar Philpot en dat juist wanneer ze bij het label hun 30ste verjaardag vieren. Het lijk wel hét verjaardagsgeschenk bij uitstek: de EP is simpelweg een wonderbaarlijk stukje disco-house. De hoofdtitel Akiele kenmerkt zich door een ongelooflijke diepe en hypnotiserende deephouse groove. They like to wath en Meandyou zijn respectievelijk twee stunnin' vocaltracks. De soulphiction dub mix van Get your head up rondt deze voortreffelijke EP uiteindelijk af.

Daso - Numb

Het label Connaisseur Supérieur is weer een track van jewelste rijker en dit maal prijkt hij op het conto van Daso. De Duitser met de übercoole moustache smijt met Numb alle registers open en levert een resolute dansvloerkiller af. Waar z'n zeemzoete track Meine Idee nog zachtjes nazindert, is met Numb regelrecht de toon gezet en geeft Daso er een stevige lap op. Bij Connaisseur Supérieur kunnen ze er moeilijk een stijl opkleven en manen ze aan Numb te bewaren voor special occasions. Een ding staat alvast als een paal boven water: this one will cause damage on the dancefloor.

Oleg Poliakov - House moujik

Nadat Rusland op het EK heel wat furore heeft gemaakt - en mij dermate heeft weten te bekoren -, ben ik op zoek gegaan naar de Guus Hiddink van het Russische muzieklandschap. Ik botste uitendelijk op volgende mysterieuze producer Skat aka Oleg Poliakov. Na zijn meer dan geslaagde release op Circus Company in 2007, komt hij weer op de proppen met twee uitermate groovy tracks met Chicago en Detroit invloeden. Midnight Vultures profileert zich met zijn jacking drums en stevige baslijn. De b-kant, On The Edge Of The Wood, is een warme en diepe deephouser that makes you wanna dance!

We can do it - Llamame

Afsluiten doe ik met een plaat die wel eens dé voorbode van de zwoele zomeravonden zou kunnen zijn. Het eerder onbekende Berlijnse label We can do it heeft nog maar enkele releases op haar palmares prijken, maar dit maal is het wel een schot in de roos met de track Llamame. Llamame ontpopt zich tot een minimal-house monster en het label doet haar reputatie van catchy vocals opnieuw alle eer aan. De Engelse equivalent "Call me", die bijna onophoudelijk over de beats rolt, zorgt ervoor dat deze track ideaal is om iedere party op gepaste wijze af te sluiten. Of juist ook niet...

Cait Loves Turbo

Turbo Recordings celebrates it’s 10 year anniversary, so wave those motherfuckers like you just don’t care! For those who missed it: the Turbo Label Night at Blast Your Ghetto was a bomb!

As far as party reviews go, I’ll keep things short: Fanklub DJ’s rocked, Thomas von Party was amazing and The Proxy’s live set was pretty much a re-run of how God created the universe. Best I’ve heard in years! (he refused to take my word for it at the time, but Zhenya, if you read this: I wasn’t drunk and I was totally serious).

On another note: Fraulein got wasted, Goldfox did not. Der Schmetterling scored poontang, Cait did.. an interview with Mr Turbo Recordings, Tiga’s younger brother and the whitest guy ever to wear an afro: Thomas von Party. James Brown is dead, meet the new hardest working man in showbizz:



10 years Turbo, congrats! Antwerp was amazing.. what more can we expect from Turbo this year?
We have a lot planned to celebrate: a really cool compilation CD with a book featuring all of Tiga's amazing infosheets, albums from Proxy and Jori Hulkkonen, 8 terrific 12"s, more than 30 tour dates and a very ambitious new website. Oh, and lots of T-shirts.

Where do you fit exactly at the label?
It's a very small operation, so I do a bit of everything, really... I deal with the artists, production, promo, work with the online stores, listen to demos, run the podcast, organize events... basically just answer emails all day :)

I’m pretty sure Proxy is gonna be thé name of 2008. You discovered him through myspace. An inspirational story for young producers all over the world..
Totally... it's a great vibe. Before we signed him he didn't even have a passport!! He's a wonderful guy and extremely talented. Not that many young producers have as distinctive and powerful a 'sound' as Proxy... and he's really hitting his stride now with amazing new remixes for Moby and Digitalism. It's also inspiring because he's not coming from New York or London or Berlin... he's coming from a little suburb outside of Moscow, relatively speaking it's a cultural vacuum... and I'm glad that I found him on myspace because it partly justifies all the time I've wasted on that site!

When can we expect a Thomas von EP? Not interested at all to go there?
I just did a remix of Moby actually with a friend of mine, Brad Lamborghini. It'll be on the upcoming Moby remixes - Turbo 054. It's just a rough acid track, but I'm happy to have put something out to get the ball rolling. I'm a total beginner in the studio but I feel confident that I'll be releasing some more stuff this year... remixes are probably more likely at this stage, a bit less daunting when you have some structure and some sounds to start with.

How do you get your fro so perfect? All natural?
No, it's a wig.

Introducing...

Just a quickie to say that another blogger has been added to the team. Since our Raveslave clubhouse was dominated by testosterone-fueled alpha males, we decided to 'employ' someone who could steady the balance - if only a little...


Some say it's her ambition to be the first blogster on the moon; others claim Amy Winehouse has hired her to stand in while she finally goes to rehab. We simply believe her name is Annelore. In the future, she'll be reporting on her party experiences, donc attendez-vous aux histoires sur des fêtards plein d'hormones et des DJs avec des looks moitié nerd, moitié electro; aux histoires sur des kilos de cocaïne et des endroits où il est impossible de bouger; et, je l'avais presque oublié, des histoires sur la musique...

Unfortunately, you'll have to wait some time before you get to see her in action because it's that time of the year again. Hell is going to be hot indeed.

wondering while wandering 3

I've always had a particular fondness of DJ compilations. Often this format is the closest you'll ever get to getting to know a DJ because it's consists of tracks that the DJ loves. And unlike when spinning a DJ set, he doesn't have to care about the semi-drunken party-goers' mood or the requirements put forward by shady clubnight organisers. A DJ mix allows the DJ to include whatever tracks he damn well pleases, which is what makes it so interesting...


Liss' trademark preference for funky, and thus very danceable tracks is already well established in these regions. His WWW-mix offers a bunch of tracks which are to be expected from someone with acclaimed taste: the classic Frank Knuckles take on Kasso's "One More Round", the mandatory In Flagranti track, the funky nü-disco action in the shape of Telespazio's "Galileo" and Baby Oliver's "Feelings 2", the devastating Riton remix of Sonny J's "Enfant Terrible".

All in all, this is a very coherent, fluently mixed compilation of exquisite tracks, just the way we like 'em.

You can download Liss' WWW-mixtape here.

Tracklist
01. Kasso – One more round (Frankie Knuckles rmx)
02. In Flagranti – Coquine (Sanctuary mix)
03. Telespazio – Galileo (Rodion rmx)
04. Baby Oliver - Feelings 2
05. Chef – Toccating (Tomboy rmx)
06. Headman – Running into time (Le le edit)
07. Lottergirls – Love is dope (Diskokaine rmx)
08. Sonny J – Enfant terrible (Riton rmx)
09. Adonis – We're rocking down the house
10. Systeme Imaginique – The sublime moment